If you’re similar to me, boundary setting of any kind makes you feel awkward and uncomfortable. But over the past year I’ve begun to realise how important it is, as without boundaries, you’ll absorb other people’s feelings and take responsibility for their problems; you’ll overwork, allow others to take advantage of your kindness, and eventually this will negatively impact your physical and mental health. There are actually lots of pros to what I like to refer to as self-care boundary setting. Such as saying no to things you don’t want to do, telling people that you need space when you need it, being able to change your mind without feeling guilty, removing toxic people from your life...the list is endless. These might sound like simple tasks, but they are easier said than done, especially when it comes to family and people we care about. Take this blog post as your sign to start prioritising yourself because you can’t pour from an empty cup.
If nobody else has told you this, you have every right to change your mind, you can cancel plans last minute if you don’t feel in the right mind space and you don’t need to feel guilty about it and if you don’t like the way someone in your life makes you feel, then cut them off! I mean it obviously takes practice, the more you prioritise yourself the easier it gets and also then the people who are in your life will be people who not only understand this but support and encourage you to put yourself first. Nonetheless, this works both ways. When you have friends or family members cancelling plans or not replying to messages, instead of being angry with them, put your empathy pants on consider what they might be going through that is making them behave like this and if there is anything you can do to support them. Because to have good friends, you have to first do your best to be one.
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